So my sister just sent me this link, which features--in this writer's humble opinion--the greatest break up letter of all time:
Because, really, what girl doesn't want to be compared to a Tauntaun?
I really hope this guy is going to Celebration V, because he can buy himself and Jessica these shirts...
... as an apology for comparing her to a Sith Lord responsible for slaughtering thousands of innocent people. Oh, Jessica, you are a cruel, cruel mistress. You better start praying to the Force to have the universe intervene with The Ultimate Plot Twist, if you have any chance of escaping this:
Though why do I get the feeling not even that would deter our wordsmith?
Jessica, you in danger, gurl.