The One That Says I Love You in Wookie

So my sister just sent me this link, which features--in this writer's humble opinion--the greatest break up letter of all time:

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Because, really, what girl doesn't want to be compared to a Tauntaun?

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tauntaunopenbelly-catalog Don't freeze me out, baby, I know your insides are warm and squishy...

I really hope this guy is going to Celebration V, because he can buy himself and Jessica these shirts...

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... as an apology for comparing her to a Sith Lord responsible for slaughtering thousands of innocent people. Oh, Jessica, you are a cruel, cruel mistress. You better start praying to the Force to have the universe intervene with The Ultimate Plot Twist, if you have any chance of escaping this:

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Though why do I get the feeling not even that would deter our wordsmith?

Jessica, you in danger, gurl.