The One That Says I Love You in Wookie

So my sister just sent me this link, which features--in this writer's humble opinion--the greatest break up letter of all time:


Because, really, what girl doesn't want to be compared to a Tauntaun?


tauntaunopenbelly-catalog Don't freeze me out, baby, I know your insides are warm and squishy...

I really hope this guy is going to Celebration V, because he can buy himself and Jessica these shirts...

iloveyou_sm iknow_sm2

... as an apology for comparing her to a Sith Lord responsible for slaughtering thousands of innocent people. Oh, Jessica, you are a cruel, cruel mistress. You better start praying to the Force to have the universe intervene with The Ultimate Plot Twist, if you have any chance of escaping this:


Though why do I get the feeling not even that would deter our wordsmith?

Jessica, you in danger, gurl.